Saturday, November 7, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Best Friend Joke
A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. As the bartender pours the drink, he remarks, "That's quite a heavy drink. What's the problem?"
After quickly downing his drink, the man replies, "I found my wife in bed with my best friend."
'Wow," says the barkeep. "What did you do about it?" "I walked over to my wife, looked her in the eye, told her to pack her stuff, and get the hell out."
"That makes sense," remarks the barkeep... "And, what about your best friend?"
"I looked him right in the eye and yelled, "Bad Dog"
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Accidents around
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billgates and gujju bhai
Bill gates & gujju
Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah.
Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, ‘I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I’ll give it a try’
Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself ‘ I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?’ So he stays.
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Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave. 500 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, ‘I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?’ So he stays in the room.
Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo – Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, ‘ I do not speak one word of Serbo – Croat but what do I have to lose?’ So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate.
Everyone else has gone. Bill Gates joined them and said ‘Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo – Croat, so I’d now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.’ Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says `kem chho’ The other candidate answers ‘ek dam majama..’
Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah.
Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, ‘I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I’ll give it a try’
Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself ‘ I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?’ So he stays.
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Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave. 500 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, ‘I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?’ So he stays in the room.
Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo – Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, ‘ I do not speak one word of Serbo – Croat but what do I have to lose?’ So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate.
Everyone else has gone. Bill Gates joined them and said ‘Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo – Croat, so I’d now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.’ Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says `kem chho’ The other candidate answers ‘ek dam majama..’
Japan fast/India very very fast
There was a Japanese who went to India for sightseeing. On the last day, he hired a cab and told the driver to drive to the Airport.During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan !!!.
After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi and again the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, “Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!” And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, “Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!”
taxi-meter-made-in-india-very-very-fast
The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars.
Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was 800 rupees. !!!!
The Japanese exclaimed, “What??… so expensive!” There upon, the driver yelled back, “Meter, Made in India VERY VERY FAST !!!!!
After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi and again the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, “Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!” And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, “Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!”
taxi-meter-made-in-india-very-very-fast
The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars.
Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was 800 rupees. !!!!
The Japanese exclaimed, “What??… so expensive!” There upon, the driver yelled back, “Meter, Made in India VERY VERY FAST !!!!!
different success @ different age
At age 4, success is .................. not peeing in your pants. At age 12, success is .................. having friends. At age 20, success is .................. having sex. At age 35, success is .................. making money. At age 70, success is .................. having sex. At age 80, success is .................. having friends. At age 90, success is .................. not peeing your pants. |
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